Monday, 4 March 2013

The Bible Series: First Thoughts (2)

Part 2 of my analysis, and showing of discontent with this new heretical bible series. Currently at 36 and a half minutes of 1 hour 25.

1. Isaac is about to be sacrificed to God. Off he goes, after Sarah has just said "when you grow up and have children" just setting the mood at how horrific God is to ask such a thing. Sarah has no idea what is to happen.

2. The main crux of the whole thing is supposed to be Abraham's faith in God. Abraham knew that Isaac would be resurrected or maybe not even die, because of God's promise to him that HIS son would give him numerous descendants. He knew it wouldn't be through Ishmael because God had promised Isaac to him (1 year and I will come back to you and give you a son)- not Ishmael. He knew the line would come through Isaac. Lets also not forget that God says "take your only son". Otherwise what a waste, this just seems to miss all that out. Again, this is an interpretation, and a weak one at that

3. We aren't told what mountain these guys are going to. The mountain of course is the one where the temple will be built. Jerusalem!

4. Abraham's contempt for God "The Lord will provide a sacrifice my son" grrrr, is that normal?
Sarah's ridiculous "did they not take a lamb?" starts freaking out. Come onnnn. Would you immediately think "Oh he must be about to sacrifice our son" - that crazy christian. Then again, considering how Abraham has been portrayed, I suppose you would think that.

5. So Abraham has now started to be like, really aggressive with Isaac, as the bible says he was. No, the bible says he bound him and laid him on the altar. Of course, Abraham is the only one with any faith in this God, as the series shows, everyone thinks hes insane, in fact, he even acts insane. Because theres no proof of this God is there. If the world was as this series says it was, there would be no Judaism. Here we have Sarah rushing to stop him, just as the bible says. The bible says "region of Moriah" this would have been days away from where they were. Otherwise God would have said "Take Isaac up that mountain just there and sacrifice him to me". He doesn't say that does he. Stupid show.

Why does Abraham say forgive me? He's not sinning, hes serving God the creator of the universe, God asked this, therefore it is totally right for him to do. He doesn't need forgiveness. Flaming idiot writers. They obviously don't know God. I'm sorry, but they don't. God is just some voice in your head to these guys. The utter vileness I'm witnessing, How anyone could watch this and promote it afterwards is beyond me. If this is what christians believe nowadays, Then we are in the times of apostasy.

6.Again little biblical inaccuracies like Abrahams hand not being stayed, and God no longer saying "Do not harm the boy", God appearing as a hooded figure (where Satan also is - a kind of duality).

But the angel of the Lord called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”
“Here I am,” he replied.
“Do not lay a hand on the boy,” he said. “Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son.”

See how missing that out demolishes a type that is to come, namely Jesus? Instead a lamb, and a blubbing Abraham is what the unwashed masses receive.

7. Is it me or how would Sarah actually know Abraham was going to sacrifice Isaac? He could have given a drink offering, or anything. It would take a lot to jump from animal sacrifice to human sacrifice. I think the only correct thing in this story is "Abraham was going to sacrifice Isaac, but it was a test". Everything else is poo.

8. Jacob isn't going to wrestle with God in this story, apparently that's unworthy of our time. I think they probably didn't know how to make Jacob's numerous wives and kids palatable for a modern audience. Still, lets hope that the story of Joseph is better

9 Oh, they've skipped the rest of Genesis. Lovely.


EXODUS

1. Randomly, out of no where, Moses is the rival of Pharaoh's son. Obviously, lacking any historical knowledge, they ignore that Egypt had been conquered and the new Pharaoh isn't even Egyptian.
The Hyksos ruled Egypt, known as the Semite kings, and between Joseph and Moses there is something of discrepancy. We don't actually know if the Pharaoh who ruled after Moses, even knew who he was. Obviously they have to put something in there, but had they followed the bible, it would have been much easier.

2. Pharaoh's son, is making out like Moses had a chance of being Pharaoh..this is just stupid. 

3. Utter disrespect of rulers, this would never be the case, even Pharaoh's own son would never ever speak to him like that. "This is your fault", Pharaoh's were considered gods, do you really think even his own son could get away with speaking to him like that. Pharaohs had harems like all kings of that time. It would be nothing to teach him and his other sons a lesson and have him disemboweled. Why are these writers so eager to introduce rebellion against authority? It just wasn't the case. Even if it is today.

4. Moses knew he was hebrew and not Egyptian. Just because there is silence on his childhood, does not mean he was under any illusion that he was egyptian. The bible says that his own mother was his midwife and cared for him. "the woman" Exodus 2. Of course this is my interpretation. But honestly, it has more evidence than this ridiculous origins story. Some kind of soap opera like drama that would never have happened in a Pharaoh's court.

5. Like that they didn't shy away from the mass genocide carried out by Pharaoh

6. 40 years later Moses is riddled with guilt after killing an egyptian slave driver. evidence please?

7, They seem to be ignoring that Moses is married, that he still sees his biological family "Aaron is coming to you",  They seem to have turned him into a bitter hermit.

8. Burning Bush looks amazing. Portuguese Christ still making making me laugh. Completely unbiblical "with your power i will set my people free", I thought that Moses was a stutterer who needed Aaron to speak for him. The problem with series like these is that they give you the story, but miss out all the important little bits that make the story what it is, gives the meat to it. All these people who meet God look insane to me.

9. Fake rivalry between Moses and Pharaoh's son before Moses' self imposed exile. All set up so that the then Pharaoh will have a reason to hate Moses. Pharaoh in the bible had no dispute with Moses, other than him wanting to have the Israelites go and pray and sacrifice to Yahweh out in the desert. 

10. They've also set up Pharaohs firstborn, a child. First born means oldest does it not? The idea that God killed all the children is a demonic myth. Anyone from 1 to 120 would have died. FIRST BORN. 

11. Moses beaten as he enters Egypt, just at random, this guy who doesn't even look like a slave walks in and some slavemaster starts hitting him? Why? Is every egyptian at risk of a beating just for walking by? Come on History Channel get a grip.

12. Finally Aaron is here, obviously he didn't come and visit him, but met him at random when Moses (the unconfident) is giving a very beautiful speech to the Israelite elders. Why do they do this stuff, completely rewriting events. WHY? Now Aaron has had a dream, one that was supposed to take him to Moses out in the sticks, but here he is in Egypt walking round. weird.

13. So Moses is here to set the people free. The bible says he sent him to get his people to pray and sacrifice to him. Thats all. Obviously it was a precursor to freedom, but I suppose that the bible is too complex for people. No drama, no intrigue, they would have done better with J.J Abrams writing it to be honest.

14. Why hasn't Moses staff yet turned into a serpent, by the time Moses walks into Pharaoh's court its done that twice, Once to show Moses, once to show the elders. How strange. The miracle-less adaptation.

15. And there we go, The two bibles go in different directions. I can imagine that this was made for those who don't read the bible. Throughout the hour of watching this up to now, I have seen compromise after compromise. But to have Moses stand in Pharaohs court and demand the freedom of God's people right off the bat. Thats nowhere in the bible.

THE FIRST MEETING BETWEEN PHARAOH AND MOSES:


Exodus 7:8 Now the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying,9“When Pharaoh speaks to you, saying, ‘Work a miracle,’ then you shall say to Aaron, ‘Take your staff and throw it down before Pharaoh, that it may become a serpent.’”10So Moses and Aaron came to Pharaoh, and thus they did just as the LORD had commanded; and Aaron threw his staff down before Pharaoh and his servants, and it became a serpent.11Then Pharaoh also called for the wise men and the sorcerers, and they also, the magicians of Egypt, did the same with their secret arts.12For each one threw down his staff and they turned into serpents. But Aaron’s staff swallowed up their staffs.13Yet Pharaoh’s heart was hardened, and he did not listen to them, as the LORD had said.

-----

Is this what we see here in the show. No, this is a soap opera. Nowhere does Moses say "Let my people go". Thats from the Prince of Egypt, and maybe from something older, maybe Charlton Heston. But folks, it's not the bible. ITS NOT THE BIBLE.

16. Pharaoh says that Moses was always a fighter, but frankly how do we know that? Its all out of Roma Downeys head. not out of the Word of God. This conversation never happened.

17. Events are occuring that never happen in the Bible, Honestly I have swear words in my head at how bad this is. Moses is dragged out of court, some Pharaoh stands there screaming "I AM GOD" WHAT? This needs to be taken off the air, this is awful (57 minutes into episode 1)

18. Will someone tell me why Moses staff still hasn't become a serpent? Please?! Why is that so hard. I sit here on this day March 4th 2013, Egypt is filled with locusts. Why hasn't Moses staff turned into a serpent. That was God's signature - inanimate matter to life. Help?

19. Why do all these people keep saying "God has spoken to me"? It supposed to be obvious, the serpent from his staff was proof. Everyone knew that God had spoken to him.

20. Aaron looks in shock, Moses looks like hes casting a magic spell. Of course there will be magicians who can do the same thing. But these won't be mentioned. Cos we only get a tenth of the actual story. How does Pharaoh know this is Moses? In the bible story Moses is standing before Pharaoh, its been announced that the plagues will come, the staff has turned to a serpent, but in this mess, none of this makes any sense. Water to blood was not proof. 

21. Joshua now? Joshua is here at miracle number 1? What? joshua isn't mentioned til well towards the end of Exodus, theres 40 years in the wilderness to come yet. Joshua was a kid then, hes probably minus 30 at this time.

22. God will keep doing this until Pharaoh breaks. Right of course. This was about breaking Pharaoh (ignoring that God had hardened Pharaohs heart). This is such Theology-lite. 

23. Soon there will be a final plague *shot of child*. The Angel of Death is coming. To further the heresy that God killed all the children. Death is coming for us all apparently. Even Israel.

24. Passover part is accurate. Of course we have blasphemy "God sends us death"

25. Again why is Joshua here?

26. The scary Angel of Death woooo. We see Pharaohs firstborn son, killed - hes about 10. Why not focus on the 25 year olds, the 40 year old sons. Any non believer watching this would end up siding with Pharaoh, because the whole story is not told.

27. Apparently all Pharaoh wanted from Israel was a tomb for his son? What? Oh and Moses dead. Yeah, but that's not what the bible says. He wanted his slaves back.

28. Why is Joshua there, after 40 years in the wilderness Joshua would be 60 at least.

29. The Israelites are a lot calmer in this show than in the Bible. By the time the hundreds of thousands of people reach the RED sea, they're screaming at Moses, they want to go back to Egypt.

Oh there we go, a little discontent. From what I'm seeing theres only about 100 people there.


30. Nice dramatic scenes, is God actually going to speak? ooo come on. Never read this prayer in Exodus, but okay. God doesn't speak..But Moses does scream LOOORRRRRRRDDDD. Invoking him perhaps, like the pagans do? "And Moses screamed "Lord" and the seas parted, then Moses said "God is with us, come with me". Wow, how totally unbiblical. They keep banging on about faith. All God wants is obedience. Old Covenant, New Covenant. Goodness me.

31. Such awful, awful story-telling. If they had followed the street bible it would have been better than this.

32. I love how Moses keeps saying that Pharaoh is not a God. But it's not what the bible says. This is supposed to be the bible dramatized. 

33. Pharaoh's army has been demolished by the ocean. But because the writers concentrated on this unbiblical rivalry between the two, they are focused on that, and can't explore his grief in any depth. Its like he has one dimension. Hes a cipher. 

34. You have Joshua, who shouldn't even be there, screaming freedom like its Braveheart.

35. We must trust in God, we must follow His Path.
then everything goes to plan, everyone is really well behaved
then we get the ten commandments
of course its a perilous journey up Sinai despite the fact that God is overseeing everything thats going on.
Of course Moses' face looks normal, and isn't glowing
Israel has "New laws"
Apparently on Mt Sinai Moses knew that Joshua would lead Israel to the promised land not himself
Apparently Joshua was about 30 at this point,
Apparently all Moses cares about is how Israel will be as numerous as the stars.
Apparently Aaron doesn't exist bar 1 or 2 scenes
Apparently the tabernacle doesn't matter
Apparently the levitical priesthood is a bit boring and won't be shown
Apparently Israel never rebelled at Mt Sinai, nor later on. Nope, Israel was never unfaithful.
The ground never swallowed up the unfaithful elders, nor never challenged Moses and Aaron.



Yes this is how it happened, such biblical accuracy.

36. Rahab is another babe, of course. She gets mistreated by one of the guards - strong female character, with the lecherous males. yeah yeah. Perfect excuse for her to betray her people - not for the love of God, but for hatred of her countrymen. Thats the humanist perspective, God is never enough.

37. How does it end, with the Israelite spies killing a load of Jericho Guards. "For Israel!".

I'm just aghast. I'll write up a conclusion shortly.







 


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